Whether you got dumped or you ended the relationship, losing your significant other is never fun. Even when you know that you’re better off without them, or they’re better off without you;  you can still feel like your life is spiraling out of control. When you’re struggling to get over that formerly special someone, try to remember that the totality of your existence is much more than them. Here are a few suggestions that might help you to regenerate yourself and keep the doldrums at bay after a breakup:

Find or Rediscover Your Passion

Many  people mistakenly assume that finding someone else is the best and quickest way to fill the hole in their heart. We’ve all heard the adage “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone (new).”  I would not advise this, that is, at best, a temporary fix.  And a temporary fix that is likely to spawn myriad issues of its own.  What you really need to strive for is a purpose in life. This might sound complicated, but it can actually be rather simple. What are the things that you care about?  What do you love?  What have you often thought about but never ventured into or explored?  Once you figure out what you enjoy the most, find a way to incorporate it into your life.

Love Yourself

Even if you didn’t love your ex, you likely loved the way they made you feel, or you cared deeply for them.  As humans, we naturally crave affection.  We need to feel special, and this is often why we think that a boyfriend/girlfriend is the answer to our problems and is so critical to our happiness.   Learn to love yourself, jointly and severally.  No one should have the capacity to make you feel deficient without them.

Diversify

Don’t jump to another replacement immediately.  Instead, use the time you would’ve spent with the ex to reconnect with friends and family.  Begin new activities and expand your social calendar.  You don’t need another failed relationship.  You need a complete, healthy, diverse life.

Reinvent Yourself

Now that you’re unattached, there are no relationship metrics and kpi to live up, or down to.  You can be whomever you choose to be.   Now is a good time to reinvent yourself if you’re so inclined.  Had you been thinking about changing your hair colour, getting some new body art, changing professions, working out more, changing your wardrobe?  Now is the time to go for it and be exactly who you’ve been longing to be.

Bond With Yourself & Nature

If you are blind to your beauty, at least try to see the abundant beauty in the world.  Escape the confines of your residence, your mind, your broken heart… go outside.  Take a walk, go to the park, visit the beach, attend a street fair.  Reconnect with your mind, your thoughts, your feelings as they pertain to you and your place in the world.  Free your body, free your mind, emancipate your heart.  Re-discover your beauty, rediscover the world outside your window.

Breakups can be rough, but they shouldn’t make you feel incomplete, powerless, or worthless. Your sense of fulfillment should not be dependent on someone else. How do you usually get over a breakup?