There are  almost infinite reasons why you shouldn’t take back a cheater. Still, bafflingly, many people have no problems with infidelity. Personally, I could never trust a cheater again. While it works for some, it’s definitely not a thing to take lightly, being with a cheater is usually awkward and even painful. If your partner’s cheated on you, take a long hard look at these reasons why you shouldn’t take back a cheater.   Proceed with caution.

The Relationship Will Never Be the Same

The moment you discover the infidelity, your relationship is forever changed. I think this is one of the biggest reasons why you shouldn’t take back a cheater. The entire dynamic of the relationship changes drastically. You’ll always be at least a little distrustful. Every time your partner looks at someone else, you’ll wonder what they’re thinking. Every time the phone rings, they walk out the door, or you recall the infidelity; you will at the least feel the side effects of distrust, or at the worst, severe PTSD.

They Won’t Change

If a person cheats on you once, what’s to stop them from doing it again? They make a promise, but can you really trust them? No matter what their excuse, if they cheated on you once, they’ll find other reasons to do it again. Even if they blame it on you, it’s their problem and not yours. If they’re not happy in the relationship, they could always break up with you instead of cheating.

You Deserve Better

Do you really deserve to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you enough not to cheat? You should never blame yourself if your partner cheats. You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you. You will find someone better. Some people stay because they don’t want to be alone, they rue the thought of someone else reaping what they’ve worked for, or they don’t want to lose their status as being with so-and-so. Trust me, being single is better than being with a cheater and exposing yourself to unknown diseases and trauma.

They’ll Never Respect You

Cheaters never respect their partners. Don’t buy into the fallacy that cheating doesn’t mean that you aren’t loved.  If there aren’t consequences, they feel like it’s okay to walk all over you. Even if you cuss till you black and blue and get upset, staying simply tells them it’s okay to cheat. Leaving them proves you respect yourself. You shouldn’t have to stay in a situation where your partner doesn’t respect you or where you don’t respect yourself.

Be a Role Model

Any time you stay with a cheater, you’re teaching anyone who looks up to you that it’s okay to be in a bad relationship. This is especially true if you have kids. Don’t you want the people who see you as a role model to know that cheating is wrong? Show yourself and everyone else that cheating is right and that better is possible. You’ll feel better about yourself and be happier.

Eliminate the Stress

No matter what your partner says or does, you’ll always feel stressed whenever they’re not right by your side. You’ll wonder if they’re really on a business trip or who they’re with on their lunch break. Why wear yourself down with the constant stress? Dumping them eliminates the stress so you can get on with your life and find someone better.

They Don’t Love You

No matter what people say about humans not being naturally monogamous, if someone truly loves you, they have no desire to cheat. I’ve heard all kinds of excuses about not getting enough attention or “it just happened.” The real reason is they don’t care about you. Someone who cares about you and loves you doesn’t want to hurt you. And for the new advocates whose cause is to undermine monogamy, in cultures where multiple partners are the norm, the partners all know of each other, and there is some semblance of cohesiveness.  It isn’t cheating, it’s polyamory or polygamy where honesty and transparency all around is widely regarded as the crucial defining characteristic.  Not duplicity, lying and deception.

They’ll Continue to Lie

If someone’s cheating, they’re a liar. They went out of their way to hide something major from you, to deceive you. If they’re lying about cheating, what else are they lying about? Cheaters love to lie. Not only will you never be able to trust them again not to cheat, you won’t be able to trust them about anything else. Lying definitely isn’t the key to a successful relationship.

You’ll Lose Friends and Family

If your friends and family find out about the infidelity, they’ll probably encourage you to leave the person. When you don’t, they may wonder what kind of person you are. At the very least, they won’t want to be around your partner anymore because they don’t like them. I’ve seen quite a few men and women lose friends because they refused to respect themselves and dump the cheater.

Both men and women cheat and it’s not acceptable. The more people take them back, or tolerate the cheating, the more cheaters seem to think it’s alright. There are great non-cheaters out there to be with and you deserve someone better than a deceptive cheat.