Only the greats go down in history.  When it comes to your man, there are things that you can utilize in your quest to be the best he’s ever had.  Regardless of your tenure in the game of love, if you’re a rookie or a seasoned vet, understand that channeling your inner goddess and doing your best on game-day (every day) will set you apart from the rest of the pack and have you on the way to being his best girlfriend ever.

1. Say What You Mean (Respectfully)

Do not confuse this with being blunt, or worse with “keeping it real”, aka saying whatever you want irrespective of how it affects others.  Many women loathe confronting a problem without any form of sugar coating. There are ways to say exactly what you mean in a nonthreatening, respectful manner. As most therapists advise, try using “I feel…when you” statements when you can. They aren’t accusatory and they get your point across.  Saying what you mean is easy, honest and  emotionally freeing.

2. Be Human

If he’s tired, angry or sad, let him be or if he’s open to it, try to help him work through these emotions. He’s entitled to feel discontent and melancholy at times.  Don’t take his being sad, mad, etc. as a personal attack on your relationship.  That isn’t fair, and is frankly, a bit narcissistic.  You wouldn’t like him judging you for being human and experiencing less than optimal feelings at times, so grant him the same courtesy. If certain emotions take over his life and you find that his state of mind is compromised,  that’s a different problem.

3. Surprise!

This can be applied to all aspects of your relationship.  They may range from things as small as a note of appreciation to the most elaborate all expense paid trips, but make them a consistent part of your relationship.   If your man is a thrill seeker or even if he’s pretty sedate, pull him out of his comfort zone every now and then.  Or, surprise him in ways that entail you sharing his comfort zone. Does he love football?  Instead of seeing football as your most vigilant matey, snuggle with him every now and then and watch a match.  Just be with him and revel in his presence.   This will help to foster a culture of compromise and comfort that will see you on your way to experiencing life with each other without boundaries.   Over time, these experiences and sharing will strengthen your bond.

4. Be Appreciative

All too often we see a couple where the  female has clearly forgotten how lucky she is (Yes, they’re lucky to have us too). After a while, a lot of women forget that things cost money. If he pays for dinner, exercise some basic etiquette. Thank him.  If he takes you somewhere, or helps you in a pinch.  Thank him. Everyone likes to be appreciated. Don’t forget about his needs, and definitely don’t just expect things.

5. Build Him Up

This should come naturally, but, as with most things that should naturally occur, we are often remiss.  Don’t emasculate, disrespect and minimize your man.  Make the effort to reinforce and build him up, especially when he is down.  You love to feel wanted and so does he. Address the things that you love and appreciate about him, compliment him, let him know that he is special.  This will increase his confidence and his sense of self and worth.   Even if your relationship ends,  he’ll reflect on his time with you as one of positive self image and he’ll always appreciate the fact that you never tried to diminish his stature ad a man. We all reminisce a lot, and our memories tend to be comprised of moments in time.  Author your moments in his life as a time of positivity.

6. Stay Curious About Him

Everyone has something to teach us, regardless of whether they know it or not. I learned this from observing an ex interact with strangers. He is typically very reserved, stoic even.  His is never the voice you hear amongst other voices.  But he fascinated me every time we were in a social setting that necessitated interaction with others.  People loved talking to him.  Why?  He never steered the conversation to himself, he asked questions and accepted the answers, and, he listened attentively.   I noticed that every time a person left a conversation with him, they felt valued and interesting. You can learn a lot from your significant other. Whether it’s his career,  a hobby,  or something he experienced; ask questions, listen attentively, and accept the information that you receive to help you understand the things that are important to him. The best partners imbue knowledge, and; ultimately wisdom.

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