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If your heart was recently ripped out of your chest, my condolences.  However, you should be aware that there are certain things that you should never do and/or post on post on Facebook, especially after a breakup. It’s difficult to think clearly when you are reeling from emotional pain, betrayal, disappointment and the other dark holes that magically appear in the midst of heartbreak, so, I’m here to help you . Below are a few things to not ever do on Facebook after a breakup, especially when you are hoping for a reconciliation. 

Vent About The Breakup

It’s tempting to post a lot of status updates when you are hurting from a breakup. Avoid posting anything about the breakup.  You probably think that your ex will see how devastated you are and feel sorry fi yuh, or how happy and relieved you are to get rid of the likkle hood bwoy or big hole gyal and rush back into your arms but this rarely, if ever happens. They’re probably happy and relieved to get rid of your likkle hood/big hole too.  Or, assuming they were open to a reconciliation once things calmed down, your disrespect and/or creating a public spectacle might close the door on that.  Assuming they’re smart and intolerable of your poor conduct.

I Miss You Declarations

Even if you miss your ex more than how you miss your ex, avoid posting I-miss-you messages; and yes, subliminals via quotes are included. It will take some time to adjust to being without them and missing them is natural. But, it will pass. Don’t pour your misery out in long I-miss-you declarations. Whether your goal is to get them back at some point (or not), this is the last thing you should do. The angst-filled posts on your wall will most likely backfire by increasing their security in the fact that you have pathetically paused your existence and are waiting with bated breath on their return.  This can also be ammunition against you with a less than scrupulous ex who will see this as an indication of your willingness to jump through hoops to get them back, before you know it; your misery will have nuff nuff company.  Do not ever try the trick below. You’ll just justify them leaving you even more.

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I Love You & Can’t Be Without You

Lawd Have Mercy. This is the ultimate definition of desperation. NO, it’s not romantic and no, people wid sense stopped falling for this emotional blackmail from mi granny a wear nappy.  These posts will only make a person lose more of whatever attraction they had for you.  This gives you an air of desperation, clinginess, and emotional vampirism instead of someone awesome, mature and fun that they shouldn’t have ever let go.

 

Recent Interactions With “New” People

Okay, so you think a ton of pictures and posts on how much fun you are having with “others” five seconds after the breakup is a way to make them feel jealous and make them want to get back with you? Uhm, not exactly.  Everyone knows it take at last 5 minutes to get over some breakups, five seconds?  Reprehensible, lol. Don’t post pics or status updates about all the fun you had turning up last night with John, Dick, Willie or Ukku, Little Miss and Tighty.  All you’ll accomplish is creating the impression that they meant nothing to you, or you kinda loose. Lay low over the breakup when it comes to Facebook. It’s fine to date others if you are up to it but don’t announce it to the world.

 

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Begging Them Back

Posts where you are begging to be taken back are a big NO. First of all, its very unattractive.  Secondly, the breakup is very fresh and you haven’t given yourself enough time to realize that you might not even want to be with that person.  Never throw yourself at someone who has shown or indicated in any way that they don’t want to be in a relationship with you, especially publicly.  Nothing will make them come back unless they want to. Don’t beg on Facebook or, for that matter, through e-mails, text messages or in phone calls. Keep your dignity because if it’s meant to be, it will be.

 

Feelings Toward The Ex

After a breakup, it’s normal for your feelings to wildly fluctuate from missing your ex and longing to be together to cursing their very existence and their mother’s lack of aptitude with regards to swallowing.  You will go from remembering how awesome and sweet they were to thoughts of deep rage that they initiated or caused the breakup. Regardless of this erratic thought process, take it on the chin,  don’t post about them. Express your feelings through a journal, start talking to yourself, or friend up a wall and talk to it instead.

 

Friends’ Posts

Don’t get friends involved in the breakup aftermath. Slandering your ex to friends (yours or theirs) will only make the situation worse. Their friend will defend him and yours you regardless of whatever was said or done because they are friends. And although you might think dive bombing comments on his or your friends’ walls will make your ex come back, it really won’t. It will just reinforce their decision that breaking up with you was the right thing to do.  And, you’ll just give everyone else the impression that you are mentally unstable.

I am sure there are countless other things that should not be done on Facebook in the aftermath of a breakup. What’s on your list?