From the classic “we need to talk” breakup phrase to the “it’s just not working out” explanation, or “I need space”, there are seemingly endless ways and reasons to end your relationship. Breaking up can be difficult. It often means tears, frustration, anger and confusion. But no matter how long you’ve been together, how old you are or how much you think you love your partner, below are some definitive reasons to end your relationship ASAP.
No-one deserves to be abused. Considering the many reasons to end your relationship, physical abuse should take the number one slot every time. There aren’t enough roses or “I’m sorrys” in the world to void bruises or broken bones. Apologies will not make you forget the pain. Your personal safety and health are not worth sticking around in the hopes that they will change. If your significant or insignificant other hits you, chokes you etc. you need to leave them immediately. Leave and never look back.
While physical abuse is a dangerous and terrible situation, emotional and verbal abuse can be just as harmful in a relationship. Your partner is supposed to love and respect you, not make you feel worthless, depressed, anxious or unwanted. Verbal abuse can leave lasting mental scars, and is something not to be taken lightly. If you are in a verbally abusive relationship, you need to put on a brave face and end it. You are worthy of love and happiness and deserve nothing less.
Ending a relationship for a single indiscretion is highly debatable in some circles (not mine). While it’s true that people make mistakes, it’s also true that some people just will not change. If your partner has cheated on you on more than one occasion, chances are they’re a chronic cheater. If you’re always feeling self-conscious, wondering if you’re good enough, always wondering where they spend their time or if you feel compelled to check their phone for proof of infidelity, your relationship is not worth saving. Break it off and find someone who wants you and only you.
While it’s nice to be looked after and cared for, there is a limit to how much involvement your partner should have in your life. If you find yourself being constantly pulled away from people important to you at your partner’s behest, you should consider the possibility that they are overly possessive. If they need to know when and where you are everywhere, and still doubt the veracity of the information you provide to them without reason and are constantly requiring that you bend over backwards to satisfy their insecurities, RUN. If you’ve tried explaining that you enjoy having time with your family and friends only to be met with disapproval and arguing, it’s time to end the relationship and remain close with those who matter most to you.
If you have a dream of starting your own business, exploring a new hobby or looking for a new job only to be told that you can’t do it, or be constantly dissuaded, your significant other doesn’t seem to think you’re very significant at all. Relationships should be built on support and communication. If you’ve tried to have a serious talk about your aspirations and are shot down time and time again, then you should know that it’s time for you to go.
If you find yourself constantly at each others throats, muttering snide comments under your breath or screaming profanities, your relationship is seriously lacking in compatibility. Sure, you can hit a rough patch in any relationship, but if everything from how you arrange their food on a plate to which side of the bed to sleep on provokes an argument, it’s a surefire sign that things just aren’t working out.
Relationships are not always simple or easily explained in terms of good or bad. But sometimes the thought of potentially ending a relationship can be determined by just one very basic question: Are you happy? Every day might not be magical, nor every encounter breathtakingly romantic. People can disagree and say and do things that have unintended consequences. But, the key is in how it all plays out. When wanton disregard or intentional hurt is dispatched, unhappiness is all but guaranteed. When considering the long term outlook of your relationship, you should be happy. If you find that you’re unhappy and have felt that way for some time, you might consider ending your relationship and focusing on yourself for a while.
Despite what you see looking from the outside into other people’s perfect lives, relationships are not always easy. And breaking up can be harder still. But with regards to your own happiness, hopes and dreams, personal safety and mental well being, a relationship should always be secondary. If your partner conflicts, negates, sabotages or threatens any of these factors, ending the relationship is the best thing you can do for yourself.
What other deciding factors have you encountered that had you ending a relationship?