It’s an enigma as enduring as Mona Lisa’s small, knowing smile. Sometimes meek, docile women transform into wild beasts of prey in bed; sometimes they just lie there, waiting to inherit the earth. Other times, the chick you swore was a thoroughbred who would give you the ride of your life turns out to be all packaging and false advertising; but, sometimes she surpasses all your wildest dreams and you realize that champion jockeys don’t all work at Caymanas Park.

Is it possible to reliably predict what a woman is like in bed? The love scientists say yes—kinda.

“It’s very hard to gauge,” explains Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of Why We Love, a book about the nature and chemistry of romantic love. A woman’s high heels, tuff chat, short skirt, and good-hole walk mean little. These are signs of intention. But they are not signs that this person is actually good in bed and is compatible with you.

So, besides that old cliche about how she dances, what signs can a man go by? Start with these.


She Responds Decisively To Your Questions

Beware of the “I-don’t-know, what-do-you-want-to-do?” passive babes. A woman who knows and says what she wants, even when answering a mundane question, is more likely to be assertive in bed. Good lovers take responsibility for their pleasure. They remove a lot of the guesswork.

She Eats It Up

Take note of how she handles her food. Observe how she uses her fork. Does she enjoy things? Is she sensuous? Is she poky and grabby?.  If someone eats slowly, it’s likely that they like to make love for a long time. They tend to be more detail oriented and attentive.

Human tastes in bed are just as varied as tastes in food. A person may like Japanese food but hate pizza. Some women want their nipples chewed on; others need you to be more delicate. Today’s women aren’t shy. In the past, most women didn’t get to sleep with enough men to know what they liked. But now, women are becoming more experienced and more demanding.

She Screams for Ice Cream

You may find the perfect lover by comparing tastes in ice cream, says Alan Hirsch, M.D., a neurologist and director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Researchers call this “ice-cream hedonics.” Dr. Hirsch conducted a study of 720 people, ages 24 to 59, in which he correlated personality tests, their favorite ice-cream flavors, their partners’ favorite ice creams, and relationship status.

Coffee-ice-cream lovers—found to be dramatic, seductive, flirtatious—are most romantically compatible with strawberry fans. Vanilla gals (emotionally expressive and fond of PDA) melt best with rocky-road guys. And mint-chocolate-chip fans are meant for each other.

She Talks Your Talk

Mirroring of verbal behavior and pace can be good indices of compatibility. If her pace and her nonverbal behavior match yours, her sexual behavior, which is also nonverbal, will also likely match. If one person seems really slow moving and the other person is more fast paced, they’re going to have different sexual paces.

If somebody says something and the other person goes on to another subject, they’re not tuning in very well. They probably won’t tune in during sex, either.

Her Kisses Make You Melt

Yes, men are prone to melting upon receipt of perfect kisses (I have references 😉 ) Everyone agrees that the way you kiss says a lot about how you make love.  To me, kissing is facial/oral intercourse. It’s not just using the lips; it’s using the entire body. The hands exploring your body, the breasts pressed into you, the moans, the anticipation and responsiveness to your every thought? Yep… she’s almost guaranteed to be a great lover.

The best lovers also create sexual anticipation.

She’s a Good Dancer

This is the subject of much debate.  I have heard stories of disappointment and pissivity from friends who swore they were gonna be proposing post-coitus based on their future ex-fling’s performance in the club.  But still, despite multiple disappointments with this yard-stick, overwhelmingly, men still utilize this as a method to scope out potential partners.

There is a certain amount of relativity between dance and copulation. A female’s dancing prowess can suggest energy, creativity, openness and flexibility… things that all rank highly on the list of what men seek in sex partners.  To some men, accomplished dancing also indicates someone who’s social and self-confident, big plusses.

What things do you use to gauge possible sexual compatibility?

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